How is it that we make the same mistakes, over and over again…different faces, different circumstances but when we step back we are looking at the same fundamental driver of fault.
Heart break causes relationship breakdowns but it also causes business breakdowns as individuals are compulsively drawn to repeat their mistakes. This is not New Age gibberish, check out Bessel van der Kolk’s research into the compulsion to repeat. Our brain sets up opioid receptors at painful events in our childhood, which lead us to unconsciously set up these circumstances in our daily life.
Our brain-body will unconsciously choose the people, places and things that fire up the opioid receptors. This pull untreated, is even more compelling than our greatest pleasure.
What was the relationship between love and money in your family system? are these two concepts enmeshed? This may make your daily business life one big roller coaster ride for you. Big highs and big lows, are a tell tale sign there is an underlying heart break.
Did you have over entitlement ie: what mine is mine and what is yours in mine? Did you have under entitlement: what is yours is yours and what is mine is yours? ..both of these defects will lead to failure.
Did you opt to be invisible in your family system to protect yourself? This may lead to you making yourself small in the business world, unable to step into your gifts and real value.
Do you attract in difficult people over and over again which damage your business? Who do these people remind you of in your family system?
Do you suffer from perfectionism? Is a slight set back a near death experience for you? Growing business is a series of setbacks, that is how we learn, if we shame ourselves with this process we become frozen instead of fluid and dynamic.
Ohh and in case you were thinking relationship heart break is a big cause of business failure, it also plays a very big part. Being able to move through life’s challenges, out of mental obsession and back into the moment is the key to a successful business.
Louise Kelly
Managing Director
Hearts and Minds
Hi Louise
I love the thought provoking questions. The ties between relationships of love and money and family take us to a completely new level of responsibility for our lives and what happens to us across the board. I love it. Looking forward to more from you.
Niki